TERPSICHORE: You've selected me, Terpsichore. If you'd rather be playing soccer than touring these galleries, stick with me.

HADES: (Interrupting) Pssst! Turn around. Hey, down here. I'm the statue at the end of the line on the right. Come over here. Figures they'd make me small while Hercules takes up a whole room. The Romans call me Pluto, but I like my Greek name: Hades. Yeah, I'm that guy—the god of the Underworld. One of the Big Three gods of Olympus. (mutters) Only not so welcome in Olympus. Anyway… let's blow this joint. Do you like pizza? Video games? Flaming Hot Cheetos? Follow me.

Go back outside and turn left. You know the garden they told you not to go into? That's where we're going. I'm not known for playing by the rules, and I like gardens—I gave one to my wife, Persephone.

Keep going to the corner and turn right. Pass the stairs and turn left. We're going out to the garden. Wait for me at the top of the stairs across from the fountain.

SFX: NATURE SOUNDS

MUSIC: CONTEMPORARY ROCK IN THE BACKGROUND

HADES: Ahhh. Take a deep breath. Doesn't it feel fabulous to get away from all that old stuff and be outside?

SAMANTHA: (relieved) Oh, there you are! Thank goodness I found you. I— (notices Hades) Oh, I see you have company. Come with me, demigod. We need to keep moving.

HADES: I'm just letting the kid have some fun. Anything wrong with that? After all, I'm the god of fun, fun, fun!

SAMANTHA: (respectfully) Uh, isn't that Mr. D's territory? And speaking of him, as the director of Camp Half-Blood, Dionysus would want me to take our guest here back inside and continue our tour.

HADES: Hmmph! You don't need to go that stupid camp. Stick with me, and I'll make sure you have everything you need. Check out that fountain against the wall. It's a replica of the one they found in Pompeii, before Hephaestus lost his cool and buried everything under ash.

Venus has it all wrong. This idea of discovering a godly parent who's been assigned to you is soooo old-fashioned. You can choose your parent! And do you know who would be your best choice? ME!

I've got a cool man cave, room service, fashion shows. You can decorate your room any way you want—in red, black, red-on-black, black-on-red… And when you put on a DO NOT ENTER SIGN on your door, no one will.

SAMANTHA: (whispers) Yeah, in his UNDERGROUND room in his UNDERGROUND palace, where you see sun like NEVER.

HADES: I heard that. You always have to be negative, don't you?

SAMANTHA: Sorry, Lord Hades, but we really do have to go now.

HADES: Yeah, yeah. I was just about to take a lava bath anyway. Catch you later.

SAMANTHA: Okay, calmly move back inside toward the inner courtyard.

This is a great teachable moment. Hades is tempting, isn't he? Making lots of promises he'll never keep. As a demigod, you have to learn to resist temptation or you'll end up somewhere you don't want to be, like on some island somewhere for about five hundred years. Or worse.

When you get back to the courtyard, turn left. We're heading to the elevator up to the Roman galleries. Your muse is leading you to someone who can help you figure out your godly parent. Turn right at the corner and keep moving. The elevator is in the hallway to your left. I'm going to go ahead and check for monsters, so press PLAY on your player after you exit the elevator on the 2nd floor.