HADES: Psst! Don't waste your time with that blowhard. He doesn't know which way you should go, I do! Turn around. See the doorway into the dark room? Follow me. Things are going to get spooky!

CREEPY EGYPTIAN MUSIC

Welcome to my room of mummy portraits. Turn to the right and find the woman with the golden tiara. Yes, that's her. Isidora. Doesn't she look alive? That's because she is. In the afterworld.

This portrait is one of the oldest paintings that has survived the ancient world. As you can see from the jewelry she's wearing, Isadora was a wealthy woman. Her portrait was placed on her body that was mummified and wrapped in the linen still attached to the painting.

Because Ancient Egyptians believed that death was just the beginning, they carefully prepared the body for the next part of its journey.

First, they'd take out your organs and cover you with salt for forty days so all the moisture would come out of you.

HADES: Then they'd rub you with oil, lotions, and resin, and wrap you in about a hundred yards of linen until you looked like . . . well, you've seen the movies. Then you're all dressed and ready to go to the Underworld—my place—where all the fun is.

MUSIC STARTS GETTING DARKER

So, what do you think? Ready to come with me? We can make s'mores over an eternal fire pit, and I can tell you all my Underworld secrets. You can be my right hand! The other gods have too many kids already! You'd totally get lost in the crowd. Join me, and all of these other people you see on the walls, in the realm of the Underworld!

SAMANTHA: (to Hades) Back, Hades! Back!

SFX: ELECTRICAL JOLTS!

HADES: Gaah!

SFX: ELECTRICAL JOLTS!

SAMANTHA: (to demigod) Being a daughter of Zeus comes in handy sometimes - I can command electricity, if that wasn't obvious.

HADES: I've had it with you Camp Half Blood Kids. You will regret this.

SAMANTHA: I can't believe you fell for Hades' tricks again! You know there's only one way to the Underworld, right? That's to be D-E-A-D dead. I don't think you want to mess with that, so stay focused, okay? Retrace your footsteps out of the mummy room, through the room you were in, and back out into the hallway. Once you're there, don't turn right—keep going straight down the hall of heads.

SAMANTHA: Okay, as you go straight down this hall, you'll see some Greek philosophers on your right. Don't let them pull you into their arguments, just politely move past them.

GREEK PHILOSOPHER 1: Pleasure is the most important thing in life.

GREEK PHILOSPHER 2: No, it's love.

GREEK PHILOSOPHER 1: Pleasure I said! Hey kid, what do you think?

GREEK PHILOSOPHER 3: Virtue is the most important.

PHILOSOPHERS KEEP BABBLING IN THE BACKGROUND

CHANGE MUSIC, MORE BUILDING, ACTIVE

SAMANTHA: Just keep going. They've been arguing for four thousand years. You think they'd give it up already. Turn left at the last room before you get to the end of the hall, Gallery 207.

Okay, from the answers you've given us, we now have a pretty good idea who your godly parent is. Look at your player, and you'll see a picture of that god's statue. It's blurry because your final decision is still coming into focus. Go find it now. It's somewhere in this room. It looks like all the gods are along the back wall, except my dad, Zeus, who's the biggest statue in the room. If he matches your picture, go to him now. Or is it one of the others? What about in the right corner?

Apollo is your god-father! I mean, your father, who is a god. . . . Did you know that Apollo is the son of Zeus? So that means you're also Zeus's grandkid. Anyway, being a child of Apollo explains why you like math, art, and poetry, and while he might not seem it, Apollo is kinda shy. He turns that shyness into a great power of introspection and focus - not a bad thing at all! You'll develop these powers further at Camp Half-Blood.

APOLLO: Step into my light, child, though you may need sunglasses to protect your eyes from my glory. So, you like poetry? Stay a while and I'll read you some of my latest haiku.

MUSIC: BIG, EVIL MUSIC SURGES UP

SFX: EXPLOSION

HADES: Not. So. Fast. You think you can just ignore me? I mean, I tried to be Mr. Nice Guy. We could have ruled together down in the Underworld, but NOOOOO, you had to follow your genes instead of your head. I'll make sure you never go to Camp Half-Blood! I can't let the other gods get more sons and daughters on their side. They're amassing power against me, I know it! Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking this Villa with me!

SFX: RUMBLING

SAMANTHA: (sighs) I can't believe it. Hades is trying to put a curse on the Villa again? Good thing for us that the architects put in safety measures: stabilization for earthquakes, firedoors for wildfires, and antidotes for nasty curses.

But YOU are the Villa's most powerful safety measure. The only way the gods can stop each other is with your help. Now that you've recognized your godly parent, you can draw on their power. Quickly and carefully, find Jupiter's statue. Now stand firmly in front of him, and aim your palm towards him to merge your power with his.

SCARY MUSIC FADES

SFX: A TREMENDOUS SUCKING SOUND

HADES: Nooooo! You've won this time, Zeus, or Jupiter, whatever your name is. But don't worry, I'll be back.

SAMANTHA: You did it! Hades has been sucked down into the Underworld, where he belongs. Let's hope he doesn't show up here again for a couple millennia.

MUSIC: TRIUMPHANT

SAMANTHA: Whew! Great job! And we've figured out who your godly parent is, too.

SFX: SOUNDS OF HOOFS CRASHING INTO THE ROOM

CHILON: We heard the rumbling from Long Island…Did we get here in time?

SAMANTHA: Thanks Chilon, but we've got it covered. This one is all set to go.

CHILON: Excellent. (to kid) Now go down to the Family Forum on the first floor, where there's a gift from the gods waiting for you: a bracelet identifying your divine lineage.

SAMANTHA: You'll need to wear that at Camp Half-Blood so we'll know which cabin you belong in.

CHILON, SAMANTHA, AND TWO CAMPERS IN UNISON: See you when camp starts!