CHILON: Wonderful. We've got a lot of ground to cover, and only one of us is equipped with hooves (chuckles). You see, the reason we brought you here to the Getty Villa …

CAMPER #2: Oh – let me! I know everything about Camp Half Blood. I've been there three summers!

CAMPER #2: And you still haven't graduated.

CHILON (pressing on): … the reason we brought you here…

SFX: Scuffle, flip and thump, on the floor.

CAMPER #1: Hey, let me go.

CAMPER #2: No you let me go! [grunting and scuffling escalates]

SAMANTHA: You knuckleheads are going to blow our cover! [SFX chaos]. Or break something!

CHILON: (roaring) Enough! Samantha, take over here. You two come with me. The Pegasus stable needs cleaning.

CAMPER #1: GROAN

CAMPER #2: Are you serious?

CHILON: I believe they'll have been grazing on stinkweed this time of year.

SAMANTHA: We've been standing here a long time; people are going to notice. Here, do this: slowly walk around the pool while I give you a too-short-to-be-boring introduction to the Villa—a place where the gods vacation, because it reminds them of home. Go ahead - just amble right around.

MUSIC: SUBTLE LYRE

SFX: SUBTLE DRIPPING

This room is called the atrium. It's where visitors are welcomed in a traditional Roman Villa. Check out that hole in the ceiling with a pool underneath. Nope, not a mistake. Why do you think it was there? To provide light, for sure, but the ceiling is also open to collect water when it rains. It's called a compluvium, and the pool where the water goes in is the impluvium.

MUSIC STOPS

Ok –you remember all that? No? No, I didn't think so. See, that's one way to test. Difficulty paying attention. Don't like following directions. Hate homework. All dead giveaways.

So – yeah, that's why we brought you here. We—that would be the Greek and Roman gods and their helpers, like me— we brought you to the Getty Villa because … there's no easy way to say this, um - we suspect YOU are a demigod. That means that one of your parents may be an immortal. I realize the news might be a bt of a shock, but try not to think about it too hard. Better if we leave questions about the circumstances of your conception for - (audibly shudders) - like, never.

But to be honest, you're still a bit of a mystery to us. We have NO IDEA who your godly parent might be. We've brought you here to figure that out before we send you to Camp Half-Blood for training. Knowing your parentage will give you insight into the powers that you can command.

MUSIC: SLIGHTLY SINISTER

First thing for you to learn: monsters are everywhere. Look down at those benches. Seem normal enough, right? Check out their feet. The museum folks will tell you they're lion claws, but they're not. They're monster feet. Now, move out of this room toward the garden and stop just outside the doors. Take a quick glance at the chandelier above you - then look away quickly! That's Medusa. Don't. Move.

SFX: SERPENT HISSES

You know Medusa, the monster that has snakes for hair? The one who, if you look directly at her, she turns you into stone? Well, that's her. She's on the bottom of all the lamps around here. Don't stare at them, unless you want to end up as a statue in someone's garden.

Medusa is just one of the threats you need to be on the lookout for. Monsters are lurking around every corner, and they can sniff out half-bloods. The older you get, the more pungent you smell (don't look so shocked—it's true), and the more they'll try to attack you. You've always got to be prepared (and I'm not talking about deodorant, though that's never a bad idea). Killing Monsters 101 will be your first class at demigod camp.

MUSIC: ANCIENT LUXURY

Do you see the five statues in the middle around the water? This inner courtyard is called a peristyle. The Getty Villa isn't an original Roman villa—it's modeled after the beach house of a rich family that lived 2,000 years ago. (Think Kardashians, Roman style.) Unfortunately, the real place, near Pompeii, in Italy, was buried under volcanic ash when Mount Vesuvius erupted in 79 AD, so now the original belongs to Hades, god of the Underworld.

Let's get moving! Walk down the two steps in front of you and then go left around the fountain. Stop in the center of the courtyard.

If you look across the courtyard, you'll see the East Garden, but no way we're going in there. That's where Hades hangs out, and you do not want to meet up with him. He'll start talking to you in that dark, emo way that's dangerous for a demigod.

Speaking of talking to you, Hercules would like a word. You might know him by his Greek name, Herakles, but it's the same guy. (The Romans basically took over the Greek gods and heroes and renamed everybody.)

Walk up the ramp to your left and through the doors and stop in front of the guy holding a club.

Hercules is a demigod himself, you know, son of the almighty Jupiter—which makes him my half-brother, 'cuz Jupiter, a.k.a. Zeus, is my dad, too! A lot of us are related. Just one big happy Greek and Roman family. (Not).

MUSIC: ANCIENT GREEK/ROMAN, STATELY

HERCULES: (Gruff, narcissistic, but also kind in a big brother kind of way) So, this is the mystery demigod. How are you with weapons? You look strong—could you handle a club like mine? I run Club Wielding sessions at Camp Half-Blood when I'm in the area. You should come. I'm the best teacher they've ever had at that camp, truthfully.

SAMANTHA: (whispers) In case you noticed, in the ancient world, nudity was a sign that you were either an athlete, a god, or a hero. That's why Hercules isn't using his lion skin to cover (ahem) everything, if you know what I mean.

MUSIC: FOLLOWS HERCULES' STORY

HERCULES: You'll see lots of statues of me around the Villa. You can tell it's me, because I usually have a club in one hand and a lion skin in the other, a trophy from my first labor. Lions were a lot more plentiful in my day, even in Greece, and— What's that?

You don't know about my twelve labors? What are they teaching in school these days? You see, I got into a little trouble when I was younger (another sure sign of being a demigod), and as punishment, I had to complete twelve challenges. The first was to kill a lion whose skin was impervious to weapons. Course, I didn't know that when I attacked him! I shot arrows at him and they just—pling!—bounced off. Same thing happened when I tried stabbing him with my sword. Finally, I had to strangle him with my bare hands. That did the trick. I had to use his own claws to skin him, and his pelt has been very useful to me ever since. Impenetrability comes in handy.

SAMANTHA: (whispers) If we let him, he'll go on and on about each one of his labors, and you could be stuck here for hours. (full voice) Listen Hercules, thanks so much, but we don't have a lot of time—we have to find this one's godly parent. Any ideas who could help us out?

HERCULES: Of course I do. I know everything about this place. Um . . . Go visit Venus! I hear she's developed a test for just this kind of thing.

SAMANTHA: C'mon, let's go. Go back outside, then turn right.

Keep moving. We're going to the last door on your right.

Do you see the door on the right? Pass through the first little chamber and into the room that looks like a temple. Then turn to the right. Venus is the biggest statue, at the end of the room.

MUSIC: PRETTY, CELESTIAL

VENUS: (talking to her muses) My dear muses, it's getting a little lonely around here with all the gods skiing on Mt. Olympus, isn't it? But I do hate wearing all those bulky ski clothes.

SAMANTHA: (whispering) Gah, Venus is always getting naked too! I mean, she is the goddess of love and famed for her beauty, but the nudity is a little hard to take sometimes. At least she's covering herself a little for you guys. (full voice) Hello, Venus? This is the mystery kid. I have to check that upstairs is clear of monsters. Can you take over for a few?

VENUS: Of course! Enchanting to meet you. Such a young and beautiful spirit! You're seeking your godly parentage? The answer lies inside you. With a little soul-searching on your part, the answer will become clear.

I've assembled the Muses here to help you on your quest for knowledge. In Ancient Greece and Rome, muses were the inspirational goddesses of arts and science. Your interest in certain subjects will give us the first clue toward identifying your godly parent.

Time to “Choose your Muse” – pick one of these four as I describe them and hold them in your mind.

First we have Terpisichore, Muse of Dance. That's what her dad thinks, but she's really an all-star athlete. If you like to move, Terpsichore is your muse.

Clio is obsessed with history. She's also the original do-gooder, always standing up for the underdog and seeking the truth behind the lies. If that sounds like you, she's the woman to choose.

Euterpe is a real crowd-pleaser, an extrovert who is super popular. She also loves to sing—she's the Muse of Music, after all. If music is your passion, follow Euterpe.

Finally, there's Polyhymnia. She's an eclectic one. She loves rap and poetry. But she's also into math and geometry. If any of her passions are yours too, she could be your muse.

If you can't decide, and you're here with someone who knows you a little bit, ask them which muse reminds them of you. Or maybe one of the muses has a quality you want to develop—you can go for that one!

In just a second, look down at your player, and you'll see a list of the four muses. Just press on the one that best fits you to continue.